Feminism. Football. Friends.

I usually have a clear theme, or clear pathway of thought, when I sit down to write.
Today symbolizes many things for me, and thoughts and emotions are swirling.
I will.
Just write.

Super Bowl Sunday.

One year ago today, my Dad and I drove up to Portland from Marin County, CA, for the last time.
We sold the home he had purchased when I was wee and he came back to Oregon; his first time living here since the 1960s.


This is us tossing out his last bottle of Vodka. He rarely drinks anyway, but it was a gift from Nadia, his Russian Love.

And below, is him at The Olive Pit, my favorite destination on car trips to and from Oregon.


Today was also a celebration of friendship; a farewell gathering for a dear friend who is moving out of state.

With this celebration, came a wonderful reminder: celebrate people while they are still with you.

Tell friends you love them.

Open your heart, and let emotions flow. Be present while you are with people. Take some photos, but then put the phone down, so you can be in the moment when a bunch of toddlers is meeting your chickens for the first time. When your friend’s kiddo falls in the pile of dog poo you missed when you were picking up the yard.


Super Bowl Sunday actually is not an entirely irrelevant day to think about Feminism.

I’ve long had issue with the role of women in major sports… The whole cheerleader thing, for instance. But I will not waste writing, not wind, on the subject. You are either with me or not. There is no in between on this subject for me.


So, Gloria.

I have long idolized Gloria Steinem. Right up there with the early suffragettes and the great women writers of the last century.

This is the Ms. Steinem I think of when I think of her:


But this week, I am so very sad to say, she went straight from Hero to Hag in my book.

Like every Democrat, like every woman, like every Feminist, I struggle with my thoughts about Hillary Clinton’s run for presidency.

But to say, as Ms. Steinem did recently, that young women support Bernie Sanders “to meet boys?” Really now?

Hero. To. Hag.


“When you’re young, you’re thinking, ‘Where are the boys?’ The boys are with Bernie.”

So off target. Just sloppy, and dismissive. Patronizing and out of touch.

Picking and Choosing.

Which brings me to my final tangent of thought for the evening.

There are so many important things occurring right now. So many worthy causes to fundraise for, and fight for, and advocate for. So many cruel atrocities that need to be brought to light and fought against.

How does one decide which organization to donate to, or devote Saturdays for volunteering for? How do we continue to nurture and feed our own souls while we’re trying to nurture our kids, spouses, parents?

A sane person learns how to prioritize. How to make sure we don’t reach burnout, or spread ourselves too thin.

A sane person. Which I am striving to become, but do not claim to be, just as of yet.

This weekend I very nearly turned my son down when he was requesting to spend time with me. Honestly: my 15 year old son sheepishly asked me to give up the personal time I had set aside for myself, and asked me to spend the day with him.

Thank goodness I realized what would be important perhaps not so much at that moment, but a decade or so from now when he and I look back.

And in the end, that other thing, the thing that is important to me, yes, but need not rule my life, that thing when rejoined later, turned out to not be what I was hoping it would be anyway.

Something I do, that is supposed to enrich my life and bring joy to me, is often disappointing, and soul sucking.

My son, on the other hand, is never a soul suck. He’s my gift from the great beyond. He’s the Easy in a life that has been pretty hard.

It is challenging to know how best to prioritize, how best to Pick and Choose. But I have never, ever, been disappointed when I have chosen him.







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