“Hell no, but Thank You”

O4oo, and I’m too tired to write the full blog, but sharing a hard goodbye I said today.
My People, my Tribe, have reminded me that I need to *Practice what I Preach* and maybe reign it in a little.
Sometimes saying no, or “No, but thank you,” or whatever, “Hell no, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you…” is what a person needs to do.
I was losing sleep over something that shouldn’t have been a huge deal, but I felt disrespected, and under~appreciated, and there you go: it hurt my feeeeeelings.

Yes, it is true: even Crusty old Nurse Apple has feelings.

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I had to make a hard choice, for the benefit of my own well-being.
In switching jobs (which is the BEST thing that has happened in my life in a great while), I lost a shit-ton of seniority.
I requested Spring Break off several months ago, and was only just now notified that I lost that bid. Not surprising at all; I just really wish I been told much earlier.
However, I was granted a full week off at the end of June, when I was hoping to do my Camp RN volunteer week for Camp Oasis.
This was kind of a blow for my family:
We all know how good Camp is for me. I may expend a tremendous amount of energy, and sacrifice a whole summer week with my own child and husband, but I also return with renewed hope and energy for surviving another year ahead with my own Crohn’s disease.
The flip side, this year especially, is that I’m learning a new job. I’m working 40 to 45 hours a week. And, I’m having to study for some Oncology nursing certifications that were a requirement of my terms of hire for my new position.
And still, my guys know how important this volunteer work is to me, and they are encouraging me to go, if that is what will make my heart happy.
So the hard part, the sad goodbye, is that I’m removing myself from an SCD support group that I pour too much heart, soul, and energy into.
I love and value these people, but it’s gotten to a point where the outflow of energy does not balance with the inflow.
So, sometimes “Goodbye” doesn’t mean I don’t value or care about someone, but I need to reign myself in a little.
And, oh look: it’s only O4:5o and I’m done typing, so I guess it did become my blog.
Please read The Spoon Theory, if you haven’t already.
Good stuff. Wisdom on Energy Conservation, and Self Care.
Much easier to preach than practice, but I am working on it. 

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