Portland, Oregon. O6.2o.2o17  O4:45

The Father’s Day 2o17 post had to go sit quietly by itself in the ‘Drafts’ holding area. It was just a wee bit too painful to tend to in real time.

So, Sweet Things will be the theme of today.

I woke up at O4:3o this morning. This may sound awful, but it’s a huge victory.
According to my CPAP machine, I slept a full 7 hours.
This is a big improvement from my normal 4 to 6 hours of nightly sleep.
And, I did not have any nightmares.
None that I remember, anyway. I will have to ask Mr. Blitch when he wakes up.
Apparently, sometimes, I wake him up talking or screaming in my sleep. Sometimes I am very well aware of this, sometimes not.
Oh, you don’t have this problem? Well. Lucky you.

What do I have nightmares about?
These things (in no particular order)…
1) my job
2) #45
3) my mother
4) my father
5) dance auditions from High School (circa 1983-1986)
6) that I don’t really have my bachelor of science in nursing (BSN) degree. There is still a college history class that I didn’t complete…
7) someone named ‘Jennifer’

So, today is already a great day!

Here is my better list – Sweet Things of Today:

1) My son HH and our neighbor, Max, slept out in the backyard last night. HH on the hammock, Max slept on the grass. There really are some sweet teenage boys in ‘Murica. I know of at least 7 or 8 of them. Good students. Musicians. Young men who are respectful towards girls and women. This does still exist.

2) My friend Julie’s daughter turned three yesterday. Her papa, Mr. Beastwood, gave her a rad pink, black, and white drum set for her birthday.
And, apparently, she learned that she’s going to be a big sister this winter.
Everything about this family is tremendously cool. Creative, super smart people. Julie and I used to work together at my previous job. She is one of the smartest women I have ever known. She taught me everything I know about Epic medical electronic systems. I could not survive or thrive at my current job as an Oncology Nurse Navigator if she hadn’t encouraged me to change my stubborn Luddite ways, and embrace the advent of medical technology.
When I graduated from the University of Portland School of Nursing ten years ago, my first job was as a night shift Bone Marrow Transplant nurse in a large teaching hospital. Paper charting was still a thing then. The noc shift nurses would grab calculators in the early morning hours to frantically add up each patient’s I’s and O’s (Intake/Output fluid balance) and ANC (Absolute Neutrophil Count) prior to the arrival of the Nurse Practitioners, Physician Assistants, and Hematologist-Oncologists at o6:00.
I was working the night when our Epic system “went live.” It was insanity. All managers on duty, people who had not worked through a 12 hour night shift in their lives. All the night nurses were snickering at them as they struggled to stay awake. Good times.
Anyway, Julie and her husband are outstanding people. They make life better though science and art. I truly, deeply, admire and appreciate them.
I mean, Holy Shit, had I been given a drum set when I was three years old? What might life have been like? What roads might I have traveled down? Kudos to them. Strong parenting. I am thrilled there will be a new addition to their family in the near future. Our world will benefit from this new arrival.

3) Mr. Blitch has gotten his groove back. After a couple years of limited time in the studio due to chronic back pain, parenting, “other work,” and me being away at work for 40 to 50 hours per week…. I went down to the studio this morning and found this:

4) And then there was this…

My job is stressful. Pretty much every aspect of my life is stressful.
Every day I drive to work, wondering when I can fit in my next visit to my father.
~ I have him situated in a very nice adult family care home, which is somewhat conveniently located in the midst of a triangle formed by my house, and the 2 hospital locations that I bounce back and forth between.

I’m a person who does better when I write things down. Words, drawings… mapping things out helps me get through life.
If I can somehow frame something within the boundaries of a piece of paper ~ there may be hope for me to survive another day.
Seems fitting that I ended up becoming an Oncology Nurse Navigator.

Non-pharmacological interventions for stress relief
Prior to heading out from my home in SE Portland, I make a trip to the backyard oasis that has been created by Mr. Blitch. I visit my Marigold (aka my therapy chicken), and snip some fresh Rosemary. I keep it in a glass in my car console.
The 18 mile car commute is eased by the smell of rosemary oil on my fingers.
Once I make it to my main job location, I can settle in ~ check my messages and the incoming referral line, make a few hard calls.

On my break ~ assuming there will be one at some point of the day ~ I head to the hospital Healing Garden.
I will always be rewarded there by some kind of tremendous beauty.

I actually have 2 piano stories.
The first, will take me years to complete. It is excruciating; it makes me squirm and rage. So best left untouched for the now.

The other piano story, is one of friendship, and heart, and community. A much more pleasant and easily digestible tale.

We are (?) care taking, housing, no: blessed with, the care of a piano belonging to a friend.

We just had it tuned. And while I appreciate it and cherish its presence in our home every.single.day, I am feeling inspired to sing its praises anew.

I played piano when I was a child… The comfort and joy in the playing weren’t there for me.
I viewed my practice as a chore; similar to the way I view a garden (flower, vegetable or otherwise): it’s a place you are sent to toil & pull weeds. Not a sanctuary or place of growth and joy.

Our son, Harrison, began playing about a decade ago. We found a teacher for him who has been a prefect match. Music theory, scales, chord progressions, are all covered as they should be. But from there, the sky is the limit. The songs they play are chosen together ~ whatever suits the mood. Ragtime. New Orleans jazz. Indiana Jones movie soundtrack music. The Beatles.
Just to name a few. A very few.
Recent musical obsessions of my son’s have included Stevie Wonder, Elton John, and now: Billy Joel.
To hear the songs of these artists played in our living room, by my son, on this amazing piano… Makes my heart explode. In a good way.

The piano belongs to a family friend, a member of my Quaker community. I met this woman when I was in my early 20s, long before I met Mr. Blitch. The piano is one she had in her home when her sons were young, and they had a spacious house with plenty of room. Two decades later, her sons are grown, living far away in places where they can’t have the piano. She also moved, to a beautiful home in the SW hills of Portland. There is a steep and treacherous walkway from the street to the entrance of the house, not a great place for this beautiful Baby Grand.

When Harrison was little, we were renting a small upright piano. My friend learned that we were making monthly payments that were hard on our budget right around the same time that she needed to move her piano into a “foster home.”

So we have this amazing instrument. We treasure it, and appreciate its presence. We’ll keep it until one of her sons moves somewhere where they would be able to enjoy it again themselves.

And we have Jeff Baxter. Harrison’s piano teacher for the last 8 years. Harrison is 16 now, so Holy Cow ~ half of our kid’s life has been touched by this amazing person.

Jeff has his own son now, a super fun kiddo with the most excellent name of Arlo Baxter.
This is our community, our tribe. We raise our kids in this sketchy, sometimes terrifying world ~~ and music provides comfort, sanctuary, hope.

This is how we teach our children to survive. Music heals. Inspires, enriches.
Lullabies, hand clapping songs, symphonies, folksongs, requiems… All phases and stages of human life are accompanied in some way by music.
Without it, what would be?

Feeling tremendously grateful for so many things. Making every day a celebration.